Waking Up Happy

Yesterday I did not have an internet connection, but I wrote this so here it is (sorry for the delay):
This morning, as usual, was a happy morning for Luke. But for me it was especially happy to wake up and know that this afternoon I have an entire hour to myself. For the first time, Luke is going to grandma's house for an hour while I...fritter away an hour however I want! I will write more when I come home from my precious hour, but for now, enjoy the cheerful video. Lord knows it's not always like this :)

Later: I am back from my glorious hour...and what did I do? I got a massage. It was wonderful. And it was even more wonderful to come home to a quiet, happy baby who had slept the whole hour and was just chowing down on a bottle with grandma.

Last night Luke slept in the crib for the first time. Up until now he has slept in our bed with us, or in the bassinet beside the bed. I think it was harder for me to sleep than it was for him. I kept worrying that he was going to suffocate and pondering other disasters equally irrational and when I told this to Derek this morning he said, "Yep, you're a mom". Great...this is what I have to look forward to?! Do all Moms have irrational fears and stay awake worrying as their baby sleeps in the next room?

I used to be a rational, if somewhat dramatic, person. Now I’m an irrational dramatic person. Do you know what this means? A rational dramatic person would say, “He’s just a tiny baby! He can’t defend himself against dangerous, slobbering wild animals! Luckily he doesn’t have to, he’s safe in his crib, so good-night”. The irrational dramatic person would look suspiciously to the right and to the left and then whisper in a scared voice, “He’s going to climb out of his crib, drive out to the woods and be eaten by a bear! There’s no way I can sleep tonight. I have to stay up and keep watch for roving bands of wolves in my suburban prairie neighborhood!” If this is to be my future, I’m beginning to have second thoughts about being a mom. But, as my own Mom said, "It's a life sentence". I think I’m going to need a therapist while I’m serving my time.