Last Day of the Month

The last day of the month happens to be Halloween. Luke was so excited to put on his costume that he woke up at 6am, when his Dad woke up. I, of course, was not ready to get up and moaned and groaned and covered my head with the pillow.

Eventually we all got up and I put Luke's costume on for him. He was much happier being a pumpkin than being a regular cute kid. He screeched and screeched until I was ready to put the pillow back over my head.

We aren't going trick or treating because it would really be just for me (what's Luke going to do? just walk around in the cold). So we'll stay home and hand out candy to other children, and admire their costumes.

Last night our automatic garage door openers were installed! We are very excited about not having to jump in and out of the car to open and close the door. And today or Monday our topsoil will FINALLY be here (with all the building, the landscapers have been very backed up)! If it comes today I plan on planting my tulips this weekend. Then Sunday is Derek's grandparent's 57th wedding anniversary dinner! I'm thinking about decorating for Christmas soon...Halloween is really the only thing standing between me and Christmas right now. I'm excited to introduce Luke to the Christmas tree.

Luke is very close to sitting on his own. If you put a toy between his feet he'll lean forward and play with it, but if he gets distracted and looks around he'll still sometimes flop backwards or to the side. So we supervise all sitting. Hopefully soon we'll have a picture of Luke sitting on his own to share with you!

Thumbs Up for Thursday

Thumbs up for Thursday

What do we have to say for ourselves on a Thursday? We are happy Thursday is here, and it is warm and sunny outside. Not hot, but warm enough to go without a jacket, which is nice.

We are thinking about going for a walk, but we have to decide between running errands or spending some time outside. Mummy would like to go to Fabricland and get a pattern to sew a new carseat cover. Luke is growing out of his already! The way the zipper is situated makes it too easy for Luke to undo the cover, and when he kicks his feet the cover sometimes pops right off the end of the seat. Luke is already outgrowing this seat...and it's toasty cover. I think the walk wins out. Winter is fast approaching and we need to get outside while we comfortably can.

We spent time yesterday going over old pictures and Luke did his "family flash cards". Basically every one of you are named "Eeeeyaaaak" according to Luke. Don't feel too bad, as you'll see in the movie that's how he says "I love you".

Being Mom

I am a Mom now. When I gave birth Luke was born, but so was I. I was born into motherhood. I was embarassed by how much I cried the first few days that Luke was home. At the time I blamed it on hormones, but it wasn't entirely hormones. It was the new range of emotions that comes with being a mom. I suppose not everyone experiences motherhood exactly the way I do, but loving a child does leave you vulnerable to tearfulness - in joy and sorrow.

I was listening to this song by Sara Groves again last night as I was trying to soothe Luke after he got startled. When he's sobbing he snuggles his nose into my neck and sniffles and rubs his eyes and grabs my shirt or my neck. I don't love that he is scared, but I love to comfort him. I put this CD in and bounced on the exercise ball and hugged Luke and he quieted down.

When this song came on I couldn't help but cry and when Luke looked up at me with a big pouty lip my maternal (fine, call it hormonal) emotions just about blew a gasket. The first time I heard this song I laughed. Now it makes me cry. I want wonderful things for Luke. I know that holding him close and smelling his baby hair for the rest of his life wouldn't be good for him. But I'm going to miss him when he goes away and I already grieve for those times. I am glad that my Mom and I are close. I hope Luke stays close to his Mom too.

I'm having trouble uploading the song. I made a slideshow and layered it. I spent all morning putting it together, but it's not loading. So you get this cheesy little video of Luke sitting in his exersaucer with the song playing on the stereo.

Tuesday

Tuesday used to be a day I looked forward to because it meant at least one full hour of concentrated Kathy-time. Well, now Kathy is in Bolivia and I am in Winkler and Kathy-time doesn't happen quite so frequently. Tuesdays are just Tuesdays.

Except for Tuesdays when there's Growing With Mom. Every other Tuesday Luke and I dress up and go out on the town! Well, we go out. And it's nice. We make lunch with a bunch of other mothers and their kids and we often have a guest speaker. Today there was a pharmacist talking about what's safe for your baby and you while you're breastfeeding or pregnant.

It's still challenging to get out there and spend time with people I don't know yet. But I know it's good for me. And it's good for Luke to be held by and spend time with other people too. Usually while we're making lunch some of us hold the babies and others chop, dice, stir and bake. So Luke gets passed around. I took my camera today but didn't remember to take any pictures. Even with all the helpful women around, it's quite a handful to care for a baby, listen to a speaker, make and eat lunch.

Last night I had my first photoshop class. I have four more class sessions on Monday evenings from 6:30-9:30. I really enjoyed myself. I am looking forward to learning lots more about editing my photos and spending three hours a week with a professional. I also met a woman in town who runs a photo editing business from her home. I called her to look into printing some pictures I took of my sister-in-law last week. She has five kids! How does she get anything done? We had a very nice conversation and I was encouraged by her friendliness. She said to Luke, "I bet Mommy nibbles on those chubby cheeks". There's no doubt about Luke's healthy weight gain. He's gotta be around 20 pounds by now.

People keep asking if Luke "makes strange" yet. At first I had no idea what they were talking about. I couldn't even figure out if they were speaking english. But then I realized they were asking if he's good with strangers or just wants Mommy. Luke still isn't "making strange", in fact he's even a little flirty. When everyone was looking at us this morning while I shared about our day and introduced him he let loose a big shining, drooly smile.

So Tuesdays are just Tuesdays now without Kathy, but sometimes they're Tuesdays with Moms, and that's not so bad.

Screeching and Snow

Over the weekend, Luke has taken up screeching. It’s his new favorite past-time. I encouraged his incredibly cute presentation of the ugly noise: he sticks out his little bum, clasps his hands together, smiles from ear to ear and lets a screechy squeal out with a bounce.

Sunday we woke up to snow on the ground. It was very exciting, Luke’s first snowfall. He screeched all morning long. He screeched in the car on the way to church. He even screeched in church and Derek had to carry him out. Luke was so excited about the snow, he didn’t stop screeching all day long.

The next skill I will be teaching Luke is whispering.

Note: the snow melted by noon, but we got flurries in the evening too. It’s bright and sunny today, no more snow for now. But the puddles are still frozen. I must admit I’m relieved the snow is gone. How can it be winter already? Luke was due in the middle of June. We waited and waited for Summer and now I can hardly believe it’s over.

Yellow or Purple?

Today Luke and I were laying in bed looking at his rainbow alphabet caterpillar (or is he a centipede?), and I was pointing to the colors asking Luke which was his favorite. He was gabbing at all the colors equally, so finally I let him hold the caterpillar himself so he could show me which was his favorite. Luke immediately grabbed onto two purple legs and shouted “All-o”, which I translated as “yellow”. I was so confused. He had grabbed the purple legs and said “yellow”. So I took the caterpillar in my own hands and said, “No, those are purple legs. If you like yellow, you grab these legs,” and pointed to the yellow feet.

Once again I handed the caterpillar to Luke. Once again he grabbed the purple legs in both hands and said, “All-o”. He’s so convinced that those feet are yellow that I’m beginning to wonder if I’M the one making a mistake. Maybe those legs are yellow after all. Maybe I’m just going crazy or I’m color blind. I’ll have to consult Derek when he gets home.

The "B" Word

A couple nights ago I couldn’t sleep, so after a few hours of tossing and turning I fled the dark bedroom and fiddled with my camera for a few hours until Luke woke up. I had such fun adjusting the floodlight Derek brought into the dining room and fine-tuning my camera. It was a wonderful exercise and afterwards I slept great. Last night I went to aerobics. I worked hard, sweated, came home tired and…came home bored! My Mom always said, “If you’re bored I can always find something for you to do”, so as you can imagine the B-word was off-limits. But I believe this particular activity warranted it’s use.

The room we worked out in had horrible acoustics so as the instructor shouted directions all I heard was “HAH, EH, OH”. I just followed the girl beside me. I’m sure the instructor was shouting something with more syllables, more consonants and more meaning, but they all got swallowed up in the loud blaring of “N-sh, N-sh, N-sh” techno music. The activity was good for me and tired me out, but there was nothing for my mind. And am I one of these over-educated snobs who needs something to occupy my mind at all times otherwise I am…the obscene B-word? Apparently so.

If there had been anything – laughter, talking, a book on tape – I could have endured the exercise so much better. But there was just a yellow wall in front, a red wall behind and a white ceiling with white ceiling fans whose white paint was indiscriminately peeling from the blades. I couldn’t help but count the letters in “Please Wipe Mat After Each Use” and wonder how long it would take for fresh paint on a ceiling fan to dry if you turned the fan on “N-sh, N-sh, N-sh”. Ugh (don’t bother counting, it’s 25).

Lucky for me, I’ve paid in advance for these classes so that I would be motivated to go each week. I thought my problem would be getting off my couch to exercise. Turns out it’s not exercise, it’s the B-word kind of exercise that’s my problem.

I came home to a wonderful baby and a kind husband who posed for me while I fiddled with my lights and camera for a while longer to stimulate my under-stimulated brain. I ended up getting a very nice shot of Derek. And today Luke was kind enough to offer to do a sitting as well. He wanted to do a video too since we haven’t done one in a while and he just loves that little green light that comes on to get the camera to focus. So today you get an abundance of pictures and video to make up for my B-word exercise. You’re probably thinking, “She should exercise more often!” It’s true, there’s no denying it. Exercise sucks the oxygen out of my brain, and after I starve my brain I binge. Enjoy!

Check out the hair coming in on Luke’s little head! It’s so fuzzy and dark.

Stardate: Two Zero Zero Eight, Ten, Twenty-Two

Photos: Practice Silhouettes and Comparing our Creature to a Human Child



Captain’s Log: We’ve been moving steadily towards the light now for close to four months. Sleep has nearly reached optimum levels on the ship. In opposition to our initial concerns and assumptions, the creature has shown an aptitude and capacity for human traits and progresses rapidly and successfully in our language and our mannerisms. There are even moments when he seems to bear a strong resemblance to a human child.

The gravity on board seems to have adverse effects on his body, which has so far refrained from developing in the standard lengthy pattern and has simply ballooned out. It won’t be long and his body will adjust to the gravitational pull and he will begin developing muscles to suit his new environment. It has also become apparent that he is unaccustomed to our process of elimination and we have decided to swaddle him until he learns that function as well.

He continues to try to communicate with us on a daily basis, but often resorts to wailing when we cannot comprehend. We have dealt with this as we would any insubordination with thoughtful understanding of his background, and possibly several hours in the brig. Since we are now several lightyears from his place of origin, we have resigned ourselves - in fact we are quite pleased - that it appears he will be staying with us for quite some time.

Babies are Like Grape Juice

Eventually they'll be good wine, but they're quite tasty now.



After teaching fourth grade, I was convinced that fourth grade is the best age-group to teach. They are just old enough to think creatively on their own, and still young enough to get excited about an adult’s ideas. They are just old enough to be past “cooties” and still young enough not to have B.O. and raging hormones.

As I considered all the different ages, I found myself saying “Four months is the best age”. Luke is at a fun age. He can almost sit on his own, but he still likes to nuzzle his nose into my neck. He is aware enough to be interested in toys, but not yet aware enough to be drawn to “off-limits” things (he couldn’t get to them even if he were drawn to them). He likes colorful gadgets, but can’t yet steal them from other children. He natters on and on, but never complains about what’s for dinner.

Then I began to think about all the things Luke has yet to learn, ways he will still develop, and I thought, “It’ll be nice when Luke eats solid foods. Won’t it be neat to watch Luke crawl? It’ll be fun when Luke can speak. It’ll be great to teach Luke to read. What an amazing experience to watch my little boy learn to use his imagination. How pleasant it will be to throw my son a birthday party with all his friends from school. Luke will be a wonderful big brother.” I even found myself thinking, “And when he gets married - Whoa Laura, let the kid grow up at his own pace.”

I have enjoyed every stage of all of Luke’s four months, and I’m looking forward to the rest of his life, too. But there is no “ideal age”. No, I’ve come to the conclusion that people, like wine, get better, more dynamic and interesting as they age. Sure some people’s kegs are left open and they get musty and moldy instead of enjoyable. But that’s only because they’re left in the back corner in the dark. Luke is out in front, in the light. It is only possible to love Luke more.

Edgy, Flirty, L.A.

Photos: Luke wakes his Dad up from a nap, wears his sweet little toque, tries on his halloween costume, and visits with family at Thanksgiving dinner. Uncle Pete made Luke laugh out loud by standing him up in his lap and sitting him down again quickly, saying, "Standing up Stanley! Sitting down Stanley!". Even the Thiessens all say Luke looks like his Grampa Stan.

While doing an internship for Fresno Magazine I was assigned the task of photographing several different entrees from several different restaurants. I had no particular internship advisor since the magazine did not hire their own photographer, but subcontracted the work. So with no advice, no encouragement and no direction whatsoever, I set out to photograph my first subject: a mocha and a muffin from Starbucks.

I had my own camera, and the magazine sent me out with a light box to use as a backdrop. I confidently opened up the softbox and set my camera settings, got the beverage and muffin, and then struggled as the softbox stubbornly refused to be the shape it got it’s name from…a BOX. It wanted desperately to be a waffle, a wigwam or a wiffle ball. As I squirmed and jiggled, trying to keep my bare knees off the scorching pavement, head buried in the lightbox, bum in the air, sweat trickling into my eyes, mocha frapaccino rapidly melting, I began to wonder if the internship was worth it at all. What was I doing here struggling in the hot sun with equipment I had no idea how to use on an assignment I had no idea how to pull off?

I snapped several shots and couldn’t find anything wrong with them, but wasn’t really impressed with them either. I didn’t, however, blame myself. I dragged the stupid softbox back to the office hanging open and flapping against my legs. I blamed it and kicked it once or twice on purpose. I handed over my flashcard, slumped in a chair and waited for the verdict. It came surprisingly fast. “Oh no, no, no, no, no. What are these? This is not at all what we’re looking for. We want edgy, flirty, L.A. Not this backyard point and shoot.” I regretted the energy I put into getting those shots.

I was sweaty, tired, frustrated, a little insulted, but mostly I was flabbergasted. I was being told to use new equipment and attempt a new style of photography with my only directions being to make it more, “Edgy, flirty, L.A.”

The next day, after spending hours poring over food magazines, I braved food photography once again. This time I ditched the softbox and went with natural light in natural settings. The real food in the real restaurant, no stark white backdrops and no vague advice; I relied on my own eye for composition and my skill with the camera. My pictures weren’t exactly “Edgy, flirty, L.A.” but they were uniquely mine. I was very happy with my work, and so was the magazine. I was sent out on more and more food shoots and as I grew more confident I became more friendly with the restaurant staff and was consequently sent home with more and more samples of the food I was photographing. Skill led to confidence, which led to friendliness, which led to free gourmet dining.

Even though I’ve done a lot more cooking since Luke was born and Derek went to work full-time, I haven’t done much food photography. It’s pretty much all about Luke, now. Luke is not “L.A.” but he’s very flirty, and when I stand him in my lap facing me, he sits right on the “edge” of the table. Pictures of Luke are the best pictures I know how to take, and I never regret time spent with him at the end of my lens.

Haircut Friday

What a nice afternoon I have had. I went for tea, journalled while Luke was napping and then got a haircut, as you can see. Lovely. The only bad part was coming home to a screaming kid who wouldn't take the bottle. So between now and tomorrow night every feeding is going to be in a bottle since we were hoping to leave Luke with Harv and Helene while we go to a concert in Winnipeg. Who knows if that'll happen now. If he won't take a bottle I wouldn't want to ask anyone to put up with him for an entire evening.

My life is beautiful these days. I enjoy my time with my son. I enjoy my short times away from him. I love my home and the meals I share with my husband. I am very content. Being a mom is the best job I've ever had!

Making Friends?

Video: I finally caught Luke rolling over...just after he rolled over the battery died. Pretty great timing!


Today I went to the church’s Mom’s Group. I am trying so hard to get out there and make friends. It is more of a challenge than I had hoped. In a small town everyone already has their own friends and they aren’t really interested in making new ones. There was a new lady there today and I suspect she would have felt as left out as I did if not for the fact that she went to high school in Winkler and has a shared school experience with many of the women in the group.

I won’t complain any more about making friends except to say this: people here seem to have very different priorities than me and that also makes it hard to become friends. Today all the ladies were laughing and saying “Thank goodness for disposable diapers, I would never use cloth diapers. What a mess. And who needs the trouble?” I didn’t say, “Well I use cloth diapers, and I think there are very good reasons to do so. In fact, I believe the benefits far outweigh the discomforts and inconveniences of using cloth diapers.” I also didn’t say, “I’d rather be at home reading a book than spending time with you”... Maybe this is why I don’t have more friends by now.

Last night was supposed to be aerobics, and I should get some credit for effort. I got dressed and rushed through supper and went to the gym only to find out the instructor was sick. I didn’t realize until I was driving home how disappointed I was to not have an hour all for myself.

Instead of doing aerobics I finished the first BabyWise book. The authors make their Parent Directed Feeding (PDF) sound so reasonable and accessible that I began feeling quite stupid for not finishing the book sooner and implementing their schedule. However, it’s not too late to start and as Derek pointed out, every kid is different and will respond differently to scheduling. And it’s not as though we haven’t had any routine at all. It just hasn’t been quite what the book suggests. So we will try to make some changes and see if it helps Luke get a few more hours of sleep at night. He’s been sleeping six hours, waking up, and then sleeping two more 2 or 3 hour chunks with another waking in the middle. On average he sleeps 11 hours, waking up twice. Baby Wise says he should be able to sleep right through 10 or 12 hours by now. We will see.

Wednesday Feels Like Tuesday

Pictures:
Luke plays in the exersaucer in his room, while Ally looks on. Did you notice the dresser Dad? I still need to wax the runners, but Derek finally shaved the drawers down to fit. It’s so nice to have storage!

Today we have nothing scheduled…which means we’ve gotta get some serious work done around here. I did the dishes and started a load of laundry so far. But we’ve still got to go grocery shopping, make dinner, dry the laundry, clean up the living room and carry some stuff down to the basement. Oh, and I wanted to go to the library today. I need to return some books, but I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t check any more books out until I get some good work done on my latest crochet project.

This evening is my first aerobics class. I’ve been looking forward to it, but now that Wednesday is finally here I’m starting to think, “I don’t want to go anywhere tonight, especially if it’s going to tire me out and make me sweat”. On the other hand, it would be an entire hour out of the house all by myself. Hm.

Luke is still sitting in his bedroom talking to his toys. He seems to especially like the tall ones. They reach his mouth, and he can make eye contact with them. I was so proud of him yesterday at Growing With Mom. Several people took turns holding him and he chatted away to them and made them smile. Then when he took a nap in my lap everyone laughed at his trail of drool. He is such a sweetheart. I never thought I’d be one of those people who just reaches over and wipes off drool or boogers with my hand. That always kind of disgusted me. But with Luke I can handle those things, in fact I delight in them. It’s amazing the changes motherhood inflicts - um I mean allows, in a person.

Siding...Noun or Verb?

There is a DC Talk song titled “Love is a Verb”. I’ve been debating the last few days to determine whether “Siding” should be a noun or a verb, or a noun AND a verb. On Monday, the men worked on siding the house (verb). On Monday, the men put up some siding (noun). And why is it called siding anyway? It’s not just on the sides of the house, it’s also on the front and back of the house. If the word siding is a noun and a verb you could legitimately say, “The men are siding the house with siding”. It sounds wrong…but it’s not wrong.

Prairie Gold Mitten siding. Prairie Gold is the color, Mitten is the brand, siding is a noun in this case. Isn’t it lovely? I like yellow on a house for sentimental reasons, but this just looks sharp with the white trim and black shingles. Four guys worked for four hours, at varying levels of expertise (Derek made sure I included this clause) and look what they got done! You can imagine what it will look like when it’s complete. A whole different house. I love that it’s different from the houses surrounding us, which are all shades of brown and gray. There is one house on our bay that is red, and we are another unique house on our bay with prairie gold siding (noun).

Thanksgiving went very well. My pumpkin pie turned out pretty good, it all got eaten except for one tiny sliver. And the party potatoes are always a hit. It was so good to have Andy Janzen join us Sunday evening and stay through Monday morning. We had a great visit, and Luke likes his Uncle Andy (as you can see from the pictures).

Today Luke and I psyched ourselves up for an outing and went to the Growing With Mom program. I’ve been wanting to hole up, especially after such a busy weekend, but I was glad we went because it was a small group which is more fun I think. You get to talk to more people, there’s fewer screaming children tearing around, and I personally don’t feel nearly as stressed at the end of the event. Even though the weekend was quite full, Luke was a trooper. He slept pretty good every night and wasn’t too fussy, even when we didn’t get him to bed on time.

I am Thankful for Dirt

Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful for a good night’s sleep, for good food, for friends, for a more-than-full-time job as a mother, for my family, and for dirt.

My little munchkin is back on track today. He woke up only once in the night and he’s had his usual naps this morning. What a relief. I was so incredibly tired yesterday. He woke up at 11pm, 1am, 3am, 4,5 and 6 am! His normal schedule is to wake up at 2ish and eat, get a diaper change, then wake up around seven for good. I can handle that, although sometimes 7am comes all too soon. This nonsense about waking up six times in the night is exhausting.

Well, I will give you the weekend run-down. It’s a holiday weekend here. Thanksgiving as a matter of fact. Tomorrow night we have dinner in Winnipeg with Helene’s side of the family at Spaghetti Factory. Then Sunday evening we have Thanksgiving Dinner with the immediate family and Andy Janzen, our friend from Abbotsford (who is now working in Winnipeg). I am in charge of pumpkin pie and party potatoes…not the peas, but the p’s. Then Monday is actually Thanksgiving Day and we have no plans except to have breakfast with Andy and rest Derek’s knees since he seems to have wrecked them on his hike last weekend. I have a couple library books to read and Derek is working his way through Harry Potter. Luke is still obsessed with Jacques Ellul, so we’re all covered in the book department for a three day weekend.

We should be getting topsoil soon since the driveway is done. This is exciting news, because it’s still early enough to do some planting and have some things come up next Spring! I bought 45 red tulips the other day. It was a bargain, and you should always plant something like tulips in big clusters. They’re called Parade. I always love the names. I was daydreaming about the backyard yesterday and here’s what I have planned: Dad is going to come visit next summer and build me a split log fence around my garden with an arbor/gate at the corner closest to the house (how does that sound Dad?), between the fence and the house I am going to plant a few apple trees and I thought it would feel homey to plant daffodils around them. I know I’m stealing all kinds of ideas from Mom and Dad’s yard, but it’s a compliment, I’ll steal ideas from anyone whose yard I admire. Helene mentioned that she wants to get rid of a few of her perennials and offered them to me. We have a great start and great dreams, considering we thought we weren’t going to get anything done in the yard until next Spring!

Carnivore

For the second time now my computer has shut down Word and lost all my work! I am so frustrated I could spit. On a lighter note, this morning Luke was chomping away on a stuffed giraffe and looked just like a lion with slobber all down his chin. In the picture he’s done with the giraffe and shouting at his stuffed cow. He enjoys shouting at the cow…no other animals get this kind of attention, just the cow. In fact he often gets quite angry at the cow and has even launched him across the room in frustration. Last night Derek told Luke, “Someday you will get to eat real cow instead of chewing on a stuffed cow” and I said, “You don’t know, he may want to be a vegetarian”. “Oh no,” Derek said, “Our son will be a carnivore.”

You may also notice that he’s wearing Halloween jammies (thanks Deegan!). We’ve gotta wear them while they’re in season, don-cha-know.

Since we had such fun with the cow, I decided we would read, “The Cow That Went Oink”. It’s all about this cow that doesn’t know how to Moo, instead she goes Oink. The other animals all laugh at her, “Neigh-ha, Bow-wow-ha, Cockadoodle-ha”. Then one day she meets a friendly pig. The pig is sad too, because she has also been laughed at since she cannot say Oink. Instead she says Moo. Then the cow has a brilliant idea. She will teach the pig how to oink. The pig learns slowly, “Mook, mooonk, mooink” Until finally she says, “Oink!” Then the pig teaches the cow how to Moo. “Oinkoo, oinoo, oimoo” Until finally the cow can say “Moo!” All the other animals are dumbfounded because now the cow and pig can say both Moo and Oink, and they have the last laugh, “Moo-ha, Oink-ha”. They are bilingual farm animals!

I absolutely love this book. It’s more than a book in support of bilingual-ism (is this a word?). It’s a testament to friendship, the benefits of hard work, overcoming obstacles and cultivating understanding and a helpful spirit. We want to teach Luke more than one language while he’s still young. Obviously the first language he’s learning is English. I already know some Spanish, and Derek needs to learn French and/or German for a PhD, so we are debating between these three. Like the cow and pig, our son will be a bilingual animal, with the exception that he’s very definitely a carnivore.

Instincts

Last year my Mom rescued some wild kittens from the bus barn at her school. At first they hissed and wobbled around on malnourished legs. After a while they became accustomed to being handled, and before long they were the most friendly cats you ever did see. We spent one afternoon ridding them of fleas and they became even happier, rid of those detestable pests.

Soon they were too much of a nuisance to have in the garage because they would run up to the back door and get underfoot the minute you stepped outside. So Mom put a box out under the elm tree and we would go visit the kittens there, making it feel like home for them. My Mom was their Mom. She fed them, cared for them, and she insisted that she was teaching them how to climb.

Most people assume that cats can climb instinctually. Not my Mom. She is a natural teacher and at the end of a long day in the classroom she would come home and turn the shady trunk of the elm into her own outdoor classroom. Taking turns and giving each kitten their fair share of her attentions, Mom would put each kitty a few feet up the slanted post of the fence and let them crawl back down. Before long the kittens had graduated to the tree trunk and Mom would wrap their arms around the tree higher and higher up the trunk and let them scoot on down bum-first. I think they felt safe knowing her hands were just below ready to catch them. She must have been a great teacher because soon those kitties were running and jumping onto the trunk of the tree like little Spiderman, hanging in one spot before leaping away again and tackling their brothers.

I think babies are a lot like kitties. Most people assume that they learn to walk and talk instinctually, when really the world is their classroom. They are learning from the people around them, not from some built-in instinct (although learning itself may be instinctual). In this instance, Luke is learning the most from Derek and me. And although some people may laugh at our “Rolling Lessons” and our “conversations” with Luke, this is his safe place to test the waters and become more and more brave until one day he will jump onto the trunk of the elm tree all by himself!

The news: Luke has now rolled over all by himself two times! He has also started rubbing his eyes when he is tired, which I vote “most endearing trait in a baby” (not just because it’s a way to tell you they’re tired without screaming – haha).

Crib Meditation

Photos: Luke with his John Deere. I love the one with his eyebrow up like he's saying, "Isn't my tractor sexy?"

Right now Luke is laying in his crib totally silent and still, but with his eyes wide open. He’s exhausted but he won’t shut his eyes, it's like he's meditating on the sheet. Why do babies and kids fight sleep so hard? I look forward to sleep. I can’t wait to get in a comfy position and shut my eyes. But I remember trying so hard to stay awake when I was a kid. I even tapped my foot against the wall to try to stay awake until midnight once. It didn’t work. The rhythm actually put me to sleep.

There’s Christmas, and the promise of Santa Clause and reindeer on the roof. I don’t remember ever believing that was true, so it was never important to me to stay awake on Christmas. Then there’s New Year’s Eve, and counting down the seconds. And there’s always the excitement before a birthday or a vacation to keep a kid awake. I understand those things. And I understand that we make it a treat for kids to stay awake, so then they get excited about it and it seems like a grown-up thing to do.

The fact of the matter is that a tiny baby doesn’t really have enough comprehension to be excited about anything enough to keep them awake. When I was a kid I actually put myself to bed if I got tired. My parents thought I was responsible. But I was just tired, and if I didn’t sleep then, I certainly wasn’t going to get any sleep at school the next day. There was much too much excitement in my daily life. First of all, Amanda was there. Second of all, there was always some drama. As a kid, everything was an emergency, a party, a fight, or the most fun we’d ever had in our lives. It was a wonderful, exhilarating day, every day. Maybe that’s why I could sleep so well at night, I had worn myself out just living each day fully.

I hope Luke experiences life that way. So far it seems like he does. Watching his expressions as he wobbles around in my lap, learning how to sit on his own, it’s obvious that he’s getting a kick out of living. Everything is new and interesting. He’s getting brighter, bigger and stronger each day. I think the new-ness of it all actually keeps him awake sometimes. The other day I put him down for a nap on a scrap quilt and he lay there staring at it for half an hour before I saw him finally close his eyes. There was just too much stimulation and he couldn’t rest. Hopefully by now he’s napping on his plain blue flannel sheets. I hung a blanket over the side of the crib so he can’t see out. Hopefully that helps.

Rainy Monday

Photos: Luke sits in his rocking chair enjoying his toys and gives the peace sign!

I was making up this song as I watch a house behind us being built. But instead of boring you with all the verses, I’ll give you the last verse which includes all the others:

There’s a hole in the straw
In the drink
In the lunch
In the man
In the mud
In the wall
In the hole
In the middle of the lot!
There’s a hole, there’s a hole, there’s a hole in the middle of the lot.

Recognize the tune?
Well I must be feeling artsy today or something because not only have I got a song for you, I’ve got a poem. Yesterday as I was driving home from Niverville I saw a goose flying all alone, and it was just beginning to rain. It made me sad and I began to think about how geese mate for life, and what it must feel like to be widowed or a widower. I’ve thought about this quite a bit since Derek and I put together our will, and it just breaks my heart to imagine spouses left alone. I guess my mind wandered there more easily since Derek was gone all weekend out in the bush. Here is my expression of loss.

severed communion
fractured Self
alone i am unrecognizable
a
lone
goose
crying
where?
where can i go?
the sky is empty
life
less on the ground
lost
flightless
without You

It is grey and rainy, not stormy, just wet and dreary. Sad poems suit the weather. We had soup and grill cheese sandwiches for lunch. Derek came home and ate with us. It was very comforting to be together as a family eating a warm meal.

Concrete Day

Today our driveway is being poured! Hurray! No more dirt, no more mud! Luke is pretty excited too because he is going to put his hand print in the concrete once it dries a little more. I would have the whole family would put their hands in the concrete, but Derek is out of town, and if he were here he probably wouldn’t want anyone to put their hands in his beautiful new concrete. So it’s just Luke, because Luke will be forgiven quicker than me. The guys who are pouring the concrete don’t seem upset that I want to adorn their work with my son’s handprints. I thought maybe they’d think I didn’t appreciate all the work they put into making it so smooth and clean. But they actually seemed to like the idea and promised to let me know when the concrete has set to just the right consistency.

Last night after work, Derek drove out to Niverville to meet up with Dan Horne. Then they both drove their separate cars two and a half hours to the end of Mantario Trail. They dropped one car there and drove an hour back to the trailhead where they camped for the night. This morning they were taking off on their hike…20km today, 20k tomorrow, and 20k on Sunday for a total trip of 60 kilometers, or for you people not versed in metric – around 40 miles. Listen to the video to hear an interesting twist to their plans for sleeping outside. Derek called last night at Luke's bedtime to say good-night and was still driving alone. Hopefully they have fun and are not bothered by bears!

It is so busy around here! Our entire street is busy with construction. When we moved in, we were only the fifth house to be occupied on our street, we were the only house even built on the right side of the street. Now there is only one empty lot on our bay, all the other lots are either being built on or are already built on and occupied! And we’ve only lived in our house now for a little over four months. You can imagine all the big trucks on our street everyday. And today the big truck came for us.

There’s a song in The Music Man that goes like this, “The Wells Fargo wagon is-a comin’ down the street. Oh please let it be for me! Oh-ho the Wells Fargo wagon is-a comin’ now. I don’t know how I can ever wait to see. It could be something for someone who is no relation, but it could be, something special, just for me!” Today Luke and I sang, “The Winkler Concrete wagon is-a comin’ down the street. Oh please let it be for me!”

Silhouettes of Poop

Late in the night, when I awoke to feed the baby and change his diaper, I was surprised to find more than the usual wet diaper. I found a poopy diaper. I rarely turn the lights on anymore because poop just doesn’t usually happen in the night. I can change a wet diaper with my eyes closed, but a poopy diaper in the dark can be a scary thing. I had already set Luke’s bum back down on his jammies before I realized there was poop! Since it was dark all I saw was a dark silhouette on the diaper.

It was intense, but in the darkness I cleaned up Luke’s jammies and his bum, put on a clean diaper, zipped him up and since he was really awake after all the fuss I decided to nurse him a little longer. As soon as we sat down to nurse he spit up all down the front of his jammies. Up we went again to change his jammies. Finally we sat down again to nurse and I heard a familiar rumbling in the nether region. A second poop in the night! Unheard of, Inconceivable! I cautiously waited until he was done and changed his diaper in the dark once again. As I looked at the silhouette of the poop on his second dirty diaper I laughed to myself.

If a therapist ever asks me to associate ink splotches with objects, every ink splotch I look at is going to remind me of the silhouette of poop in the nighttime.
Pictures: Luke's new car seat cover. Cozy...