To Vomit

As a child I vomited infrequently, but much more than I have in my adult life. I am sure by now that I have caught up with my lifetime record, and surpassed it.
I think most of the people who read this already know that I am pregnant. And as a pregnant person, I have resumed some of my childhood disabilities including: not cleaning up my dishes after I eat off of them, leaving the room when someone is in the middle of telling me something, forgetting to complete a task I promised to have done by noon, laying on the couch while someone else worries about dishes, occasionally crawling on the floor to my bed or to the couch from my bed, using poor posture at all times of the day regardless of where I am or who I am with, eating whatever I want whenever I want it, and sitting in the shower instead of standing. All of these points of action are a result of my nearly-constant vomiting.
I will include a list of every place I have vomited since I found out I was pregnant, the list includes some embarassingly public places as you will see:
The dirt of a flower bed,
a rock garden,
the lawn,
a blue bucket (which I am quite attached to these days),
the kitchen sink,
the toilet,
the garbage can in my office,
the sink in a public bathroom,
the handi-capped stall of a public bathroom,
in my mouth on the way to a public bathroom,
the garbage can in the lounge at work,
on the sidewalk outside my apartment,
in the parking lot of a really fabulous biscuits and gravy place,
and in the car.
You will be happy to know that there are days when nothing at all comes up.
Here is a list of everything I've eaten today that has NOT come up:
A small bowl of Honey Grahams
A mug of water
two cucumbers
one 1/2 donuts
two bites of pecan sandy
a piece of licorice
two bites of raspberry yogurt
On a very good day I can sometimes even eat CHEESE, and drink GINGER ALE. On very bad days I attempt only saltines, and my menu frequently consists of all of 5 saltines, and some water.
This life sounds miserable I know. I've been living it and actually find it quite intolerable. But my good friend Kathy said it the best and I will repeat, for your benefit,
"There's no happier reason to puke, than being pregnant".