Restrictions

As a pregnant person, there are many natural restrictions, not all of which I have yet experienced. But I look forward (with trepidation) to restrictions such as not being able to see my toes, or not being able to shave my own legs, paint my own toenails, walk like anything other than a duck, sit down on the floor and not be able to get back up again, or get out of bed without a support beam. Some of the restrictions I have already experienced include not being able to eat the things I love, not being able to sleep through the night without having to pee at least once, and not being able to sit in a restaurant with other civilized people because the aromas wafting from the kitchen make me nauseous.
However, today I found out there are even more restrictions than I had at first imagined. And what makes them worse is that someone out there seems to be enforcing them. I don't know who it is, and I don't know where they are, but I know they are out there lurking, waiting for me to participate in activities that pregnant women are not "allowed" to participate in. I know this, because that's what the website said. What they will do to me when they catch me in the act is unimaginable...and the website doesn't specify, so I can only assume the worst.
According to the internet, I am no longer "allowed" to participate in activities that I may have formerly enjoyed, like ice skating, roller-blading, snowboarding, skiing, water skiing, jumping on the trampoline, sky diving, roller coaster riding, and recreational drug use.
Well now that you mention it all I want to do is wear rollerblades on the trampoline while I snort dope. All I want to do is sky dive off the top of a roller coaster while shooting up! The temptation is powerful...and yet I know that someone is out there waiting to catch me snowboarding behind a boat drinking beer...and that will be the end
With all these restrictions, what is a girl to do?