Clothes Have Never Been Important

Never have I loved to
Try on one thing after another.
Never have I loved to
Compare which outfit is cheaper than the other.
Never have I loved to
sort through racks and racks of clothes.
Never have I loved to
repeatedly take off my shoes.

My socks stretch out
And my legs are scratched
From the tags that are
Stapled to these pants!

My hair's messed up
And I wore the wrong bra
For this dress I'd like to buy
But I can't!

Because then I'd need
To buy a new bra
And my budget
Won't fit the expense.

Maybe I'll stop
Wearing underwear at all!
Yeah, why wear any clothes?
That makes sense.

I'll wander around
in my white cotton socks
And never go
Shopping again!

Except to pick up
A package of socks
All I look for is
Size eight to ten!

Why can't everything be
one size fits all?
Like skirts!
When they're stretchy and loose

All you do is slip in
Quick and painless, no doubt
It will fit
And be put to good use,

Covering up all the parts
That offend certain people
When exposed to the
naked human eye.

Maybe then I'll like shopping
When the skirt always fits
And my shoes can stay on
all the time.

And my socks won't get stretched
And my hair won't get messed
I'll love shopping
When everything's my size!