The Land of Milk

Today Luke and I walked to gramma's house with the stroller, and NO CAR SEAT! Luke sat in the stroller like a big boy. We even stopped by and saw Daddy at work. Luke suggested we take him some hot chocolate for coffee break since it was a cold morning, and I agreed it was a good idea. We came the long way and walked by a field of corn and talked about agriculture and agro-economics. Luke argued that corn was the way of the future and I said perhaps we should grow less corn, drive less, and grow food. We didn't come to any conclusion yet, but it was an interesting discussion.

I have never in all my life been more impressed with my body than I am as a mother. Most women are depressed by their bodies after giving birth. Things seem floppy, saggy, stretched out. And I notice those features of my new body too; but I am so impressed! I never knew my body could change so much and still function. In fact, it's now functioning at a higher, more efficient level than it ever did before. Not only am I going through the daily grind, getting from here to there, I have run the marathon of birth, recovered, and am sustaining and nurturing a new life.

The most essential tools for sustaining this new life are without a doubt, my breasts. I went through several years of my life being ashamed that my breasts were so small. Then I became rather proud of the fact that I could go out in public without a bra and nobody would notice. Now that I am breastfeeding Luke, a bra is essential, but that's not the point. The point is that these breasts have a purpose! They get up and go to work everyday. During those years that I was embarassed of small breasts, and even the years when I was proud, I never once thought of my breasts in utilitarian terms. They were always esthetic.

These days I get more joy out of my breasts than I ever have. They are utilitarian, stretched out, saggy and miraculously full of every nutrient my son needs to grow and thrive. My body is not what it once was, and I am grateful for the changes. Those changes are the signs that my life is not just my own anymore. I share life, and it's better this way.

A few days ago Luke got to talk to his friend Ezekiel who lives in England. Ezekiel had written Luke this email:
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmSSSSSSSSSSSSSSdxx c
Luke has wanted to respond but couldn't find the words. However, during their phone conversation Luke said, "Goo" and Ezekiel replied, "Wa-ma". It was sweet and deeply touching because even though they haven't met yet, I think they both really meant what they said.